Mobile Phone Etiquette

• Keep the volume acceptable – low is best, medium is acceptable, high a total No. And switch the phone silent at Concerts, Cinema, Dinner table, any other closed or personal space.

• When in middle of the conversation, do not automatically give your phone the First priority. Pick if you must, and tell them you are in middle of something, and that you would have to call them back.

• For office, set a formal tone. You don’t want to be identified as that person who has the latest dance number as his or her ringtone.

• Just as was the case with looking at your watch in the middle of a conversation, looking at your mobile phone or worse still, checking on your messages sends the same signal to the people you are keeping you company. That not only are you bored, you are getting rude as well.

• Call back on the same day, for any call you have to interrupt or cut short on.

• When texting someone you are not on regular texting terms with – be a little formal, and include your name at the end. It’s a little too much in this fast life to expect of someone that they will save your number across years. And anyways, a little formality never killed anyone. Right?

~.~.~Its a Happy, Happy, Birthday!~.~.~

Every since AllThingsSixx started, you have supported it by taking time out to read it, providing the most valuable feedback, and even contributing to it in the Sunday guest series (here, and here).

It is your birthday today, and AllThingsSixx wishes to you the best year ahead.

Happy Birthday, Dude! May God make your coming year the best one. :-)

Get Happy High - Not Horrible High

Friday is the busiest day in its own way, for the world is making merry for the weekend that has almost arrived. Plans are being made in every bay at work and the possibilities of drinking joints are being argued. 

Inspired from some of the most unusual tales that I have heard in my circle of friends and colleagues that can happen only post an alcohol night, I thought its best to summarize all the lessons learnt to have a Happy High and not a Horrible High experience.

• Giving your credit card to someone else for paying. You may surely regret it later.

• Dialing your ex to let them know how much you miss them

• Telling your friends the nitty-gritty details of your love life.

• Puking right where you are (or worse, on the person closest to you). Now seriously people, get familiar with the way to the restroom before hand so that you may rush there if need be.

• Getting eccentric like constantly speaking about yourself. Trust me, no one cares. They too are almost as drunk as you are.

• And Driving, of course. Though DUI in India is not considered even close to as serious an offense as in most other countries, but that by no means, makes it acceptable. Respect others' and your own Life, and call a cab.

Someone, Somewhere - Really?!

About a month ago, my first ever published work went online for DW's blog Women Talk Online.
 

Because birthdays are a perfect time to recall of experiences and lessons that life brings along, what could be a better time than today to re-post this on my blog. A first in its history, the blog is going to post written out of experiences of a purely personal kind.
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As I pick my tablet, the glass surface reflects back a familiar face. A “been there, seen that” expression has crept in. Wisdom has arrived, a little each day.

I am completing my last year in the twenties next month, and if I were to ask everyone for their reactions, they’d see me as unsettled- unsettled in a womanly way, without marriage or children. Having a job for which I had slogged from my kindergarten days until around my twenty first birthday is a side-dish: good to have, but not all that important.

Over time, I have realized that marriage in India is not seen as a choice you make, or a chance that you stumble upon. It is a rule you have to live by, whether you believe in it or not.

Today, I shall tell you about the lessons I learnt during my encounters with six potential husbands.

Candidate One - was at a time which now seems like ages ago. I was still a junior at work, struggling to find my feet in an industry steeped in recession. I met him when both our families were present. I was in traditional attire holding a tea tray (yes, it is difficult to believe that it indeed was me) and as you may have guessed, there was hardly any time to talk or get to know or for that matter, even get comfortable. Forced to give an answer based on the brief five-minute encounter, a “No” from my end seemed like the easiest escape. No one involved, including my mother, was amused. 

Lesson: I need more time than five straight minutes to decide on my life partner. 

Candidate Two - was at the oh-so-right-age of 25. Everything seemed right at the surface, the background, the education, the flair. Only the guy was a suffering from commitment phobia and it took too many meetings to figure it out. 

Lesson: Just because someone is meeting potential partners, does not mean they really are ready for marriage. Spot the phobic ones early. 

Candidate Three - met him through our familiar circle- very sharp and sophisticated, but totally self-obsessed. Thankfully, did not take long for me to figure this one out. I think it was our second meeting, when he ordered a dessert, only for himself, totally forgetting he was not dining alone. 

Lesson: While a knight in shining armor is what we may really want, compassion is what takes life through, especially when two people are not in love. 

 

Candidate Four - never met him in person. This is how the phone call went:

He – When can we meet?
I – Saturday?
He – I was wondering if we can meet on a weekday, en-route to work.
I – (Really!) Hmm, sure.
I suggest a place.
He – Oh, that place is off-route.
I – Ok, then you tell me where we should meet.
Suggests a place near the Metro station.
I (deflated) – Ok, I ‘ll see you there at 7.
He – Can’t make it before 8 30.
I – Silence (already made up my mind against him)
He – Hello, you there?
I – I don’t think this will work out. 

Lesson: Being liberal in “bigger” aspects like education, work and responsibilities is the easier part. It is the smaller, everyday things which matter. 

Candidate Five - was three hours away by flight from where I stay, he was good, but not good enough to leave my whole life behind. 

Lesson: Just because I am a woman, does not mean I am really ready to leave my life behind. 

Candidate Sixx - knew him since our days at school. There was hardly anything to think about, or doubt. Only, our horoscopes did not match.

Lesson: No one wants to take a risk, when it is about a lifetime. If the stars call it a bad match, it is for the best to believe so. 

The last lesson surprises me, as much as it makes me smile. Like the famous Indian actress Shabana Azmi says in her movie, Fire,”We’re so bound by customs and rituals. Somebody just has to press my button, this button marked tradition, and I start responding like a trained monkey.”

The latest I hear is that it will happen when it has to.

I wonder who has asked the world assume that it matters. May be deep within, it doesn’t.

Shopoholic Signs

• Your destress idea is to shop without a budget.

• There does not exist a thing like the shopping list in your mind/phone/anywhere else.

• You end up picking up two same items when having to choose out of two great colors.

• You own more than one pair of red shoes, each of which, you hardly wear once a year.

• The day that you organize your closet and realize you really have enough for the next two years, you still go out and shop, only, this time for others.

• You cannot compromise between white and nude even for basics (such as tanks and stockings). After all, White is White and nude is nude.

Towards a Lighter Stomach

So Deepawali is going to be done with today, and I am sure many, if not all, of you will have some post-festivities guilt about having consumed a lot of fried and sweet stuff. 

Here is a quick guide to giving your stomach a break for some days and help it recuperate. Following one, some or all of these would help you feel lighter in only some days. Yes, it is tried and tested.

• Replace one meal with Fruits, the best is dinner, because most of us hardly move after the last meal of the day.

• Snack on dry fruits instead of fried or even baked snacks. They have healthy nutrients, and will keep you both full and warm.

• Sip on Green Tea to detox. Many people I know swear by it. I think the best part is that it does not need any sweetener, which definitely cuts the calorie intake compared to regular tea and coffee.

• For those who cannot do fruits, try some soup and garlic bread for dinner for they do make a light, nutritious meal.

• Cereal in breakfast, is both quick and healthy, thanks to the fiber rich contents along with many added seeds.

• Move that bum because a low calorie diet can only 'aid' fitness - there is still no alternative of physical activity.

Yash Chopra – The King of Romance

When I heard that Yash Ji is no more, I was dumb struck.  A sense of a permanent loss to the Indian cinema engulfed me, a sorrow that a genius is no more.

Not only did Yash Ji give Indian cinema two of its most successful stars (Amitabh Bachhan and Shahrukh Khan), he also enriched us with some of the most romantic songs which can stand the test of moods, generations and genres. 

Since Sixx cannot suffice for my favorite of his movies, I list some of the very romantic songs his movies had, touching on their respective blockbusters.

• Trishul – This multi-starrer movie launched Amitabh Bachhan, as a wronged illegimate son, and his jouney to be accepted and known by his father(played by Sanjeev Kumar) and his family. Though this movie had very few bits of romance, "gapuchi gapuchi gamm gamm" is the perfect song for teenage kind of flutter a heart in love experiences.

• Silsila – A bold movie for its time, the movie gave reality a stage with Amitabh and Rekha been showcased as stuck-in-separate-marriages-but-still-in-love couple. Jaya Bacchan was taken to add more realism as AB's wronged wife. I still wonder how would Yash Ji have convinced Jaya to play her part. My best guess is the way this movie ends, with the institution of marriage winning over infidelity. A very strong story, today, this movie is remembered for Rekha's halter neck blouses in plain, deep colored china silk sarees and the romantic soundtrack. Even today's generation cannot help but feel love when it first hears "Ye Kahaan aa gaye humm".

• Chandni – Know about it here. The complete soundtrack of the movie is delicious, my personal favorite being "aa meri jaan".

• Lamhe – Read about the movie here. Listen to "kabhi mai kahoon, kabhi tumm kaho" will bring back the youth to your love life.

• Dil To Paagal Hai - Aiding to the current generation, this is one movie which is best remembered for its soundtrack. All the songs are listener's delight, do listen to "Arre re Arre ye kya hua" if you are just beginning to fall in love or "Dholna" if already deep into it.

• Veer Zaara – When I first watched Veer Zaara, the movie progressed without impressing me. It was good, but not in the Yash Chopra way. This is the feeling before the last twenty minutes of the movie. It is then when "tere liye hum hain jiye" comes in. The song, the way its shot, its depth, everything will move you at the core. The kind of love which all of us can probably only hope to experience, the true meaning of love, which is living, not with, but for each other.

You can listen to all the listed songs here.

Dear Yash Ji, Rest in Peace. I will make sure the next generation watches the masterpieces you created for all of us to cherish.

I became a fan of your movies as a kid, long before I even knew they were yours. Most of your movies, I have seen at-least ten times over, with the exception of Waqt and Trishul, both of which I have seen for more than twenty times each. The teeny-weeny bit of romance that resides in some minuscule corner of my heart  invariably grows larger not one or two but many times while watching the movies you made, the songs sequences in them, and the depiction of various forms of love.

Connect without Facebook and Twitter

A friend last week mentioned she wishes to join Facebook Anonymous. She mocks herself that the site is open on her laptop, and its related apps too are active on all her iDevices and their cousins. She, as is easy to guess, is not the only one. Many others (myself included), are in the same boat, where we feel that the pie called social networking is getting too big to bite. That we need to connect lesser number of times, with lesser people. Let life happen in reality rather than virtually. Take in the moment actually, and not think about clicking it and sharing it first. 

I myself have taken a social networking sabbatical back in 2010 for a successful ten months (Yayy, to that!), and even after I went back, set some strict discipline for the online world. (But that my friends is another post altogether!) . Today's post is an extract of my personal experiences, on how I remained connected during my sabbatical from the social media scene - 

• Remember the good old alphabetically ordered telephone directory our parents maintained in the landlines era? A similar master contact list of friends and knowns is a good to have. Make it exhaustive, list people from all the places you studied and worked with. Include relatives and distant cousins too.

• Send in your new year greetings and wishes for other festivities in an email - it seems a lot more personal than wishing them in a general status update.

• Take a note of important events (such as birthdays, anniversaries) for the people who mean to you, and wish them over the email. They will be happily surprised.

• Changes can happen in your life too - let your contacts know of significant events in your own life (like getting married, becoming parents, moving cities). This will keep people informed on the happenings of your life. 

• Backup your phone once every fortnight to avoid loosing connections as a result of a crashed or a stolen phone. This advice comes 'direct, dil se', straight from the heart in English.

• You love random phone calls which last more than expected. Everyone else loves them too. Call your friends once in a while to connect on a one to one basis.

Sridevi before English Vinglish

A chirpy starlet, who once was the heartbeat of the nation, is better known as Sridevi to one and all. Growing up in the video cassette culture, it was impossible to not love her, be it for her smile, her feminine charm or effortless dancing skills.

With English Vinglish releasing today in India, I cannot help but write about one of the most gorgeous female actors the Indian film industry saw through the 80s and 90s.

Here is a list of my favorite Sridevi movies, which I have loved through both childhood and adolescence, for her powerful roles and memorable dance performances.

• Sadma (1983) - One of the early movies with her as a protagonist, the movie will make you laugh and cry. The movie traces a path of a woman, who having lost her memory in a car accident, ends up in a brothel. Rescued by the hero, he brings her into his life wholly, falling for her, little each day. The end is ironic, when Sridevi regains her lost memory, forgetting the events during her   illness, including the hero and their relationship. Everyone I know who has seen the movie cries in the last scene. If you have by chance missed watching it, do add it to your list. Here is a lovely song from the same movie. 

•  Nagina (1986) - A purely fictional tale of a snake, who can change into a woman at will, set out to avenge her husband’s death. While you can miss the movie if you have still not happened to watch it, do catch a glimpse of the snake dance performance by Sridevi in Mai Teri Dushman. It became a rage in its time, with the fancy dress competitions in those years having at least one dress up to match it.

• Mr. India (1987) - Playing the tenant turned lady love to the film’s protagonist Mr. India, Sridevi was kids’ favorite in her Hawa Hawaiii number, and the subsequent scene. She proved her versatility playing the funny, yet warm girl to children in the movie, a young reporter who cannot stand her boss’s unreasonable working style, and the sexy diva against the hero. Did the sultry performance in Kaate nahin kat-te ye din ye raat slip out of your mind? I hope not.

• Chandni (1989) - Every marriage you went to from 1989 onwards till at least half the decade from then on had one of the girls performing to this song. A girl’s journey through the ups and downs in uniting with her love she finds at a wedding, Chandni is the best work of Sridevi, and the peak of her as a star. Just in case you were interested, some of my favorite romantic songs belong to this movie, listen to Aa meri Jaan, Tere Mere Hontho pe, and Lagi aaj saawan ki.

• Chaalbaaz (1989) - Playing separated at birth twins, Sridevi acted in her first double role, one as a docile, sweet girl and the other as a chirpy, brave girl who lives life on her own terms. Things get funny when they end up living each other’s lives by a strange twist of so Bollywood fate. She won her first best actress award from the Hindi cinema for her performance in this role, where she looks truly adorable.

• Lamhe (1993) – This is the last superhit Sridevi gave her audience before taking a break from Cinema to tend to her personal life. Sridevi plays a teenager, whose world revolves around the person she has loved since her early childhood days, a man much senior to her. Unaware that the same man had once loved her mother, her world changes once she steps on that truth. Not a movie anyone can miss, a very simple storyline, and excellent performances by all its stars. Also known for its music, “Kabhi main kahoon” from this movie is one of my favorite romantic duets.

Happy Birthday, Bapu!

• You must be the change you wish to see in the world.   

• Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.

• An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

• Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
  

• First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

• A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.

Tomorrow, October 2nd is Gandhi Jayanti in India. Some names are so great that they evoke respect at the mere mention. Gandhiji, fondly known as Bapu is Father of our Nation. He lived as an example, practicing and professing peace and harmony at a time when the country was witnessing violence all across in the angst against the British Raj. 

Today, he is the biggest brand ambassador for my country, India. I have seen his teachings at numerous places in my visits outside the country.

I dedicate this post to him today. Happy Birthday, Bapu!